Engaged wife refuses to attend sister’s wedding after she told fiance he could do better

While family relationships, especially between siblings, can be tumultuous at the best of times, this Reddit woman’s experience with her sister takes resentment to a whole new level.

Her sister not only tried to ruin their engagement, calling her fiancé “too good” for her own sister, but also urged him to “see other people” and even condemned his character and personality behind it.

“He doubled down,” the Reddit woman wrote in her post, “saying that if I had confidence in my relationship, I wouldn’t be so upset.” Understandably hurt, the woman has since refused to attend her sister’s wedding.

An engaged woman refused to attend her sister’s wedding after trying to break up with her and her fiance.

“My 31-year-old sister ‘Ella’ is getting married in two weeks,” the 28-year-old Reddit poster explained. “We have always been close, even though we have our differences. I’ve always been more laid back…whereas Ella is the life of the party and loves being the center of attention.”

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Although their personalities were very different growing up, she wrote that it has never put a strain on their relationship, until recently. “I’ve been engaged to my fiance ‘Mark’ for about a year now.He’s wonderful… I’ve always liked my family, or so I thought.

After her older sister asked her to take her fiance out for coffee a few weeks ago under the pretext of picking out a present for him, she quickly realized that her family had a completely different view of him than she had thought: this was both offensive and disappointing.

Not only did this woman’s sister try to convince her fiance to “change” their engagement, she suggested he was “too good” for her.

After her fiance came home from coffee with her sister, she said she felt something was wrong.

“He was very quiet,” she wrote. “After some persuasion, he finally told me what happened… ‘She’ spent the whole time trying to convince him that it wasn’t right for him.”

Her sister not only cast her character as an introvert, calling her “too boring” for her fiancé, but argued that he could “do better” than her.

“He went so far as to suggest that I call off the engagement and see other people,” she added. “Mark was completely blindsided and upset – he said he was defending me, but it was clear (she) was relentless.”

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Shocked by her sister’s comments about her, she couldn’t help but call her a few days later. “I told her it was completely out of line and hurting,” she wrote. “When I asked her why she thought it was her place to interfere in our relationship, she just shrugged and said she was being honest.”

I was furious when I found out. I confronted Ella, and she didn’t even deny it. She said she was “just looking out for Mark” and that she “wants the best for him.” When I asked her why she thought it was her place to interfere in our relationship, she just shrugged and said she was being honest.”

Clearly unable to change her sister’s mind about their relationship, and honestly not feeling that she needed to, she decided to take a step back. She refused to attend her sister’s upcoming wedding and essentially had no contact with her.

Commentators urged the woman to stand firm and not let guilt change her decision.

“She didn’t apologize… Since then, I’ve barely spoken to her. My parents found out about the situation… they’re asking me to still attend the wedding,” he wrote. “They think losing him would cause a huge rift in the family.”

Continuing her post, this Reddit woman said she’s not sure if it’s possible, or even healthy, to simply “let it go,” given the severity of her sister’s comments, and readers of the her post seemed to agree, celebrating her for creating distance. .

“Narcissists and mean people … count on the fact that your reaction to their toxic behavior will be seen as an overreaction, and then try to blame it on you,” one person theorized. “This is especially true in family dynamics, with this ridiculous belief that somehow being related by blood gives someone a free pass to be rude.”

People in your inner circle, including friends and family, should love you unconditionally and support you in all your relationships, struggles, and dilemmas. While it can be easy to slip back into toxic mindsets and routines in relationships like adult siblings, that doesn’t excuse a lack of support or betrayal.

“I don’t blame you for wanting to create space with her,” wrote another. “Even family shouldn’t be excused for breaking trust or mistreating you like that… She belittled you and tried to ruin your relationship. Why would you celebrate hers after that?”

Ultimately, if the bride-to-be truly felt that her sister’s relationship was unhealthy, she should have spoken to her brother, not her fiancé. Psychology Today noted that when it comes to adult siblings, “about half talk or see each other about once a month; the other half communicate less often or not at all, and are more likely to engage in competition and rivalry”.

What this basically means is that sibling disagreements are normal. The medium emphasized, however, that “in healthy sibling rivalries, children can be both good peers and good opponents to each other. In unhealthy rivalries, there is only enmity.”

These sisters must examine their relationship and see where they fall. For now, this sister is doing the right thing by protecting her relationship and her peace by putting some distance between her and her brother.

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Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.