“How old is too old to trick or treat? Why can’t I let my daughter participate?

Being a mom for three years, my house is full Halloween fun this week.

My six year old twins did scary crafts while my 14-year-old daughter goes to a Halloween sleepover with friends.

As a family, we love to embrace the silly and scary side of the day. We decorate our front door with cobwebs and a pumpkin and we’ll go trick-or-treating with the little ones, ready to collect as many sweets as they can carry.

But there’s one rule I have this Halloween that I won’t bend: I won’t let my 14-year-old go trick-or-treating.

I’ve seen people on social media talking about how to teen who wants to go trick or treating they should be allowed to because they choose to do a “kids activity” over other things. Leave them children, people cry!

But it’s still a hard no from me.

69% of women are less likely to go out after dark

Why? Because, for starters, I’m not okay with my 14-year-old daughter walking the streets after dark with her friends.

We know that the personal safety of women and girls is a big concern.

A survey of 8,000 Londoners found that 74% of female respondents feel concerned about their safety some or all of the time, and the 2021-22 MOPAC Public Attitudes survey found that 69% of women are less likely to go out after dark.

But it’s not just a matter of personal safety. I also know how local households might feel if they hear a knock on the door, open it expecting to see a group of young children and parents, but are instead faced with a group of teenagers.

Whether it’s a woman at home alone or an elderly couple, there are plenty of reasons why they might feel vulnerable opening their door to a gang of teenagers, however polite and well-intentioned they may be.

She can come trick or treating like family

My 14-year-old is more than welcome to come with me and her younger sisters when we go trick-or-treating, so if she’s really desperate to have fun on Halloween, she can.

I’m not the only one who has this rule.

Mom Nyomi Winter asked the question “How old is too old to trick or treat?” on an Instagram video this week and many parents responded.

“Personally, if you’re too old to go with mom and dad … then I think you’re too old to trick or treat,” one mom said.

“We move on to my teenagers who accompany the younger ones and/or are the ones who open the doors and continue the fun for the little ones. Instead, I’m hosting them both a Halloween party/movie night with lots of sweets and treats!

But others disagreed. One mother said: “Definitely any age as long as they are respectful. I hate to see people being told they are too old past a certain age. Too old for fun and joy?! Why?!’

“I don’t like it when we have a massive group later in the night”

Some parents said it’s okay for teens to trick or treat dress up in a suitbut it’s not okay to just knock on doors in your normal clothes, asking for sweets.

— As long as they made an effort with the suit: it’s on. I don’t like it when we have a massive group later at night in tracksuits and a mask just handing them an Asda carrier bag expectantly ‘

And the behavior of teenagers is a big concern, rather than their age, according to many commentators:

“No age limit, if you’re polite and come to my door, you get candy even if you’re 80!…what’s not okay is destroying people’s decorations when you’re bored trick or treating, so there’s a disrespect limit not age limit!

For me, though, it’s a simple rule – if you want to go trick-or-treating, you come with us and we do it as a family. It’s not an activity to do with your friends.