Are you a hopeless romantic? Here are the signs

To that end, hopeless romantics can also make effusive and exciting partners. They are often empathetic, imaginative and reflective; they will go out of their way to find the perfect gift or plan a memorable date. “A hopeless romantic brings warmth and a sense of opportunity to a relationship,” says dating coach Nash Wright.

The traps of hope

There’s a catch, though: “In addition to being optimistic, hopeless romantics can carry limiting and biased beliefs,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Domenique Harrison. This could be because they have a deep fear of abandonment or an insecure attachment style; they may even unconsciously believe that, without a partner, they are incomplete. “This can have devastating impacts if left unchecked, leading to shame, disorientation and disconnection from the world around them,” says Harrison.

In other words, hopeless romantics can prioritize love to such an extreme that they become a little delusional. Their search for love may lead them to constantly seek partners who are unavailable, jump from one relationship to another, or even ignore their own needs to stay in a toxic situation.

great expectations

Naturally, having unrealistic expectations can set the stage for major disappointment and make it difficult to maintain a lasting relationship. Because hopeless romantics place an undue emphasis on grand gestures, they may question their relationship when a partner doesn’t reciprocate. They may discount the smallest actions their partner takes and quieter qualities like honest communication and emotional vulnerability.

“It can be a way to avoid commitment and prevent problems,” says licensed therapist Rachel Goldberg. “It can put a lot of strain on a relationship and lead to emotional distress when the fantasy is shattered. Over time, it could lead to a pattern of unhealthy relationships or difficulty maintaining long-term commitments.”

Signs he may be a hopeless romantic

Hopeless romantics often wear rose-colored glasses, but there are other telltale signs as well. “Common characteristics and behaviors of a hopeless romantic include pouring a significant amount of energy into romantic pursuits and creating fantasy scenarios about future plans,” says psychotherapist Jessica Gaddy. Here are a few more signs:

Believing that love heals everything

“They may believe that they will find happiness when this ‘person’ comes into their life,” according to Goldberg.

Prioritize potential

“People tend to idealize their partners and place them on (perhaps undeserved) pedestals,” says Gaddy.

Neglecting needs

“This could look like canceling plans with a friend or skipping yoga class to meet for a date,” says therapist Alison McKleroy.

Moved by destiny

“The idea of ​​destiny drives his decisions; they think love is predetermined or written in the stars,” says dating expert Jasmine Diaz.

Ignoring the red flags

“Hopeless romantics can sometimes overlook problems that they think are fixable or just a fluke,” says Goldberg. “They can overlook the problematic, painful, avoidant and false qualities of a person,” agrees Harrison.

Refuse to reflect

“Hopeless romantics focus on the potential for a beautiful future and don’t like to dwell on the past,” says licensed therapist Priya Rednam-Waldo.

“They may believe that the perfect match is one that has sparks immediately that never subside,” says Goldberg.

Speaking only of love

“Love is always the theme; it’s all they talk about, think about, and dream about. Friendships can become one-sided,” says Audrey Hope, a certified addiction and trauma counselor.

How to stop being a hopeless romantic

It’s important to note that being a hopeless romantic is only negative if it’s causing distress or derailing aspects of your life. So the question isn’t really whether you should give up being a romantic idealist, but rather how you can best balance your expectations with reality. “The key lies in how this romantic perspective influences life and relationships,” says Paruolo. “Does it inspire personal growth and a deeper appreciation of love, or does it lead to repeated disappointments?”