Commentary: To address bullying, we need to understand what drives children to hurt others

“ENDLESS FUN”

In today’s digital age, the lure of uploading clips further complicates the issue. The instant gratification that comes from likes, views and shares on social media has turned bullying into a public spectacle.

The viral nature of these videos amplifies the harm, as children may participate in or perpetuate bullying to gain influence online, helping to normalize aggressive behaviours.​.

Bullying often creates a cycle of violence where a child who has been bullied may become a bully to regain control or power. This “bully-victim” behavior is driven by past trauma and a desire to inflict pain they once endured.

Surprisingly, not all bullies are fully aware of the harm they are causing. Some may genuinely believe that their actions – insults, teasing or abuse – are simply harmless fun.

They may see their behavior as a playful joke or rough play between friends, failing to recognize the emotional and psychological effects it can have on their peers.

This lack of emotional awareness can stem from a number of factors, including inadequate guidance, exposure to violent behaviors, or poor role models.

I have encountered parents and even teachers who unintentionally reinforce this behavior by minimizing or excusing it. Statements like “boys will be boys” or “he was just provoked and had the right to retaliate” not only normalize aggression, but also remove the need for accountability and empathy.