Best of Miss Manners: So you want me to buy a gift from your registry, but I’m not invited to the shower?

Dear Miss MANNERS: A young colleague is expecting her first child. I’m so happy for her, even though I feel conflicted about how the celebration has been communicated. She invited her friends to buy items from her registry before the date of her baby shower, to which there was no invitation. This communication went out via email from the office. It should be added that this colleague’s superior is the head of human resources.

Is it appropriate to ask for input for an event you weren’t even invited to?

READER PEOPLE: In descending order, Miss Manners Dislikes: Mandatory workplace socializing, asking anyone for gifts, and gift registries.

Dunning’s Uninvited hasn’t previously made his list, but we can add it.

For someone at work to do this in a position of professional authority over the victims is both rude and terrible employment practice, something I would recommend bringing to HR’s attention if they weren’t the perpetrators themselves.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to your email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)