Billie Lourd shares touching birthday tribute to mom Carrie Fisher

Billie Lourd shares her grief over the loss of her mother, Carrie Fisher, on what would have been the “Star Wars” actor’s 68th birthday.

The “Scream Queens” star, 32, reflected on the occasion in an emotional Instagram post on Monday, writing that she tries to celebrate her mom every Oct. 21, but “today I really wanted to celebrate- with her.”

“Some years my pain makes me feel the warmth of his love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb, but today when I woke up I felt sad,” she wrote. “My body of sadness got the best of me so I googled ‘Middle-aged woman of death’ (ooohhh what fun Google Billie! I promise the rest of my google search history has a vibe of little funnier?!) And Google said it was 80.2”.

“My mom died when I was 60,” Lourd continued. “60 is too young to die. Then I googled drug overdose deaths (another funny google in the morning!!!) and it’s over 100k people a year.”

Fisher, best known for her role as Princess Leia in the “Star Wars” franchise, died on December 27, 2016 at the age of 60 after suffering a medical emergency on a flight.

A toxicology report found the actress had “cocaine, methadone, ethanol and opiates” in her system when she died. In a statement at the time, Lourd said: “My mother battled drug addiction and mental illness her whole life. She eventually died from it.”

Fisher had been open about her struggles with substance abuse throughout her life. Lourd, the daughter of Fisher and talent agent Bryan Lourd, shared in her Instagram post on Monday that she “did everything in my power to help my mom get sober, but unfortunately her my mother couldn’t escape her addiction.”

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“As long as she was alive, she always shared the ups and downs of this struggle with others in hopes that it would help them escape their own addiction,” Lourd added. “As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way. And the same goes for those of us affected by this struggle. Sending my love to anyone who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone.” .

Lourd starred alongside her mother as Lt. Connix in 2015’s “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” and 2017’s “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” and reprized the role again in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker of 2019. Outside of “Star Wars,” Lourd has had roles in shows like “Scream Queens” and movies like “Booksmart” and “Ticket to Paradise.”

Since her mother’s death, Lourd has become a mother herself, welcoming two children with husband Austen Rydell.

In December, he reflected on the seventh anniversary of his mother’s death on Instagram, writing: “I miss her every day, but the cliché is also true: she is with me every day, she brings more joy to my moments of joy. Tell my son that he lives in the stars, and he sure makes my life shine.”

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