“He’s God’s Problem Now”

The publication includes the opening lines of the eulogy, which describe Boehm’s death as “in keeping with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, (he) muttered his last unintellectual curse legible and probably unnecessary shortly before tripping over ‘some stupid m.———– thing’ and hitting his head.

Boehm, a father of four, is remembered for his timely evasion of the Vietnam draft by becoming a father three times between 1967 and 1972.

“Much later, with Robert possibly preoccupied with the brewing conflict in Granada, Charles was born in 1983,” the obituary continued.

According to The Washington Post, the obituary was written by Boehm’s aforementioned youngest son, Charles Boehm.

Boehm’s obituary noted that his lack of military service “was probably for the best,” given that he managed to punch holes in the dashboard of his own car on two separate occasions. The obituary said his late wife Dianne, who had grown accustomed to such mishaps, “may have been safer in the jungles of Vietnam all along.”

Adding more about his wife, who died earlier this year, the obituary stated: “In February, God finally showed mercy to Dianne, bringing her out to peace and quiet well deserved”.

The tribute to Boehm continued with more colorful anecdotes about his life, noting that he “became a semi-professional truck driver, not to be confused with a semi-professional truck driver.” He also noted his fascination with historical weapons (despite his aversion to actual war zones), his harmonica collection, and later his roadshow, which he set up to entertain his local community.

“A man of many interests, Robert was not only fascinated by historical weapons, but also had a penchant for fashion, often seen around town sporting the latest in homemade leather loafers, an extensive collection of hats unconventional and boldly mismatched shirts and pants.”

The obituary ended with some fun-loving closing lines.

“We’ve all done our best to enjoy/temper Robert’s antics up to this point, but now it’s God’s problem.”

He also invited attendees to Boehm’s “last farewell tour” with a request to honor him with “extravagant or mismatched outfits, a nod to his eccentric fashion sense.”