We live with addiction. That’s the first thing we want people to know.

Addiction hits closer to home than many of us might imagine. According to the 2023 US National Survey on Drug Use and Health48.5 million Americans over the age of 12, or about 1 in 6, had a substance use disorder in the past year alone.

The destructive effects of addiction they are real; they can include anything from the transmission of infectious diseases to legal issues, family problems, and suicide. And the stigma surrounding addiction and treatment can be dangerous treatment outcomes, research, policies and societies as a whole. It helps no one and hurts us all, especially the people it’s aimed at.

For people who don’t have personal experience with addiction, it’s easy to have a distorted view of what the disease is really like. But there’s no better way to correct these misconceptions than to talk to people who know the subject firsthand. We asked some people whose lives have been touched by addiction to share the most important message they want everyone to understand.

When addiction is portrayed in the media, it is often in the context of news or TV shows where homeless people are stealing money for drugs. Or there is the other extreme, where we see substance use glamorized. But these stories are simply not representative of the entire community.

“The image you see when you imagine someone with a substance use disorder (SUD) is far from who we really are,” said Ellen Linde, a family nurse practitioner at Ophelia in Pennsylvania which is recovering from the SOUTH. “Actually, people with SUDs are all around you. They’re your neighbor, your mailman, your cousin, and yes, your nurse. They look just like you.”

Linde treats people with SUD, and she came into contact with this stigma when she started working in her office. “When I was planning to treat opioid use disorder (OUD) in my clinic, the staff was up in arms about wanting to bring ‘those people’ into our small primary care office,” she said. “It took some work to convince them that we are already treating these people, but not for OUD.”

Along those lines, it’s important to remember that people of all identities can experience addiction. It is not exclusive to one race or gender.

“Addiction doesn’t discriminate,” said Jack Finn, a 37-year-old premium bartender in Indiana. “He can sink his teeth into anybody.”

In fact, myths suggesting otherwise played a role in not getting help sooner. He refused, she said, thinking it was okay because he was working and paying his bills.

“I think the most common mistake people make is they think it can’t happen to them,” Finn said. “The moment I was honest with myself was the moment I slowly started to get my life back together.”

The myths (and their dangers) extend to the substance use disorder itself, not just the people who have it.

“The most important thing I want people to know about addiction is that it is widely misunderstood, and these misconceptions can be harmful,” said Lester Morse, director of Rehabilitation of the United Kingdom, who has experienced addiction in the past. “This deep-seated misunderstanding can keep people from recognizing it until it becomes severe and much more difficult to address.”

The problem extends even to healthcare settings. Morse talked about people who were misdiagnosed with other conditions and then given treatments that made their addiction worse.

“Unfortunately, we are still far from a collective understanding of addiction, which is why we see it increase in mortality rates and other devastating consequences,” he said. “Substance use disorders are symptoms of a systemic and socioeconomic disease. We cannot hope to eradicate addiction until we address the deeper issues affecting our society.”

Addiction is a disease, not a choice. At the same time, however, it’s important to recognize the pain that can underlie a person’s struggles with addiction. some examples (to scratch the surface) include violence, abuse, neglect and family or social conflict.

“Lifetime substance use is almost always based on serious emotional disturbances due to causes and conditions and/or genetic mental health conditions,” he said. Violet Kairosrecovery writer in st. Louis and author of the award-winning book “The recovery of the open mind from the open heart concept“.

He encouraged people to think about this before judging others. “How do you know you wouldn’t do the same things if you lived in the same or similar circumstances?” she said

If you know someone with an addiction, it may seem obvious that they have a problem. But that person may not be able to see or recognize the problem as clearly as you.

“We lie to ourselves about our addictions,” he said Dennis Krebaa 52-year-old IT project manager, blogger and writer in Canada. “I always thought I had alcohol under control until that night I call ‘the incident.’ It took a huge fight with my best friend to the point where I thought I’d lost him to wake me up from my amazement”.

Kreba said he hid his addiction from the people around him. They weren’t aware of it until she wrote a story about her experience.

Now she is sharing her story to help others. “If you’re an addict, you don’t have to suffer alone,” he said. “But first you have to want it… From there, it’s one day at a time.”

You may have heard (or been told) things like, “I can stop whenever I want” or “They just do drugs for fun.” These can be examples of denial or a way of feeling that you are in control when you may not be.

Adam Wicka licensed therapist and alcohol and drug counselor in Roseville, Minn., said she didn’t recognize it in him for years. “I would rationalize, justify and minimize my behaviors in front of others,” she said.

He convinced the others that he was fine too, so he could continue using. In fact, many people who have a family member living with addiction they are in denial about what your loved one is going through.

“It wasn’t until I was able to be completely honest with myself that I was able to recover,” Wick said.

Alcohol and drugs can bring a kind of joy to someone’s life, so there is pain that comes with recovery and sobriety, like dealing with the emotions you erased with drugs or reconcile the friendships you had with people who liked to drink.

“Euphoric Memory” ― that is, remembering past negative experiences as better than they really were ― is another phenomenon that can make sobriety difficult.

These examples are just a few of many. But regardless of what gets in the way of sobriety, self-compassion is crucial. I it is vital to know that there is hope that it will get better.

“Being sober is no the end of the fun,” he said MJ Gottliebco-founder and CEO of the sobriety app loose. “Feeling all the feelings, the pain and the struggle, is actually the beginning of living a truly authentic life with real meaning and connections.”

Gottlieb, who has experienced addiction himself, said he was scared about it, but pushed through it.

“I was afraid of change and afraid of the feelings I was supposed to feel, but I realized those feelings were there before, I just wasn’t feeling them,” she said. “I realized I needed help and I realized how great sober living can be.”

Many of us don’t know how to support someone with an addiction, and doing it the “right way” is easier said than done. Chuck Colton, a 56-year-old mental health counselor at Urban Alchemy in Los Angeles who previously struggled with addiction and was homeless, has some pointers.

“It’s important not to enable someone with an addiction, but it’s also crucial not to give up,” he said. “Many people struggling with addiction are aware of the pain they cause loved ones and may distance themselves out of shame or fear of hurting them more.”

This advice comes from first-hand experience. “Two people in my life stopped allowing me, but continued to offer love and support, which made a huge difference in my recovery,” she said. “However, someone I was very close to completely disowned me when they discovered my addiction, and that loss still hurts a lot.”

Jake Ticknora 35-year-old man in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, also warned against trying to numb your emotions with drugs, alcohol or addictive behaviors.

Ticknor started drinking in college, wanting to escape his old life and have fun. After losing control of his life and his feelings, and undergoing withdrawal in the hospital, he realized he had to get sober. He later relapsed, as Between 40% and 60% of people do — but he’s been sober for about four years.

he said that getting sober improved his mood, his habits and his outlook on life. “Now, the only option is to face things head on and work on them,” he said. “Fleeing no longer receives or deserves my attention.”

Instead, talk to a therapist and practice meditation.

Whether you want to be an ally or see the signs of addiction in a friend or family member, an important first step is to become aware of resources. The Al-Anon support group is an option for people suffering from second hand addiction.

People in recovery need to know that they don’t have to do it alone. “I want people to understand that there are many options available today to treat addiction, and you don’t have to feel like you’re pedaling uphill or doing ‘white hits’ to stay clean,” said Alex Gardella , 26 years old. old in New York City.

She has personally found medication-assisted treatment very helpful and wants to de-stigmatize the idea of ​​getting help. “You can use a mixture of modern medicine and therapy to help you on your journey, and there’s no shame in it,” he said. “You no longer have to fight for recovery.”

It’s okay, in fact, it’s good and helpful to ask for support, no matter what you’re going through.

Need help with substance use disorder or mental health issues? In the US, call 800-662-HELP (4357) for a SAMHSA National Helpline.

If you or someone you know needs help, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for mental health assistance. Additionally, you can find local mental health and crisis resources at dontcallthepolice.com. Outside the US, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention.