“Learn How To Do It Right” (Exclusive)

The Canadian singer-songwriter, who is engaged to Demi Lovato, caught up with PEOPLE to discuss his first headlining show and how he’s dealing with his own “insecurities”

Even rockstars struggle with confidence sometimes—just ask quickly.

The Canadian singer and songwriter (born Jordan Lutes) has made a career out of music, writing for the likes of Demi Lovato and more recently, it was his first sold-out show in Los Angeles.

But as the 33-year-old discovered, that “inner dialogue” can be ruthless, and for Jutes in particular, he had to learn how to combat self-doubt without reverting to old vices.

“Obviously I wanted to do a main show. I posted on Instagram like, “If I did one, would anyone come?” And I kept saying, “Ah, I don’t know if I would. to even be able to… I don’t know if even half the venue would be full if I did one” because I have imposter syndrome and anxiety and all that stuff,” he tells PEOPLE exclusively. “(Those things) definitely got in my way, not enough to stop me completely, but they slowed me down.”

Related: Demi Lovato’s Fiancé Jutes Tells How He ‘Almost Cried’ When He Proposed In This Unique Way

Born and raised in Ottawa, Canada, on a farm full of exotic animals, Jutes originally wanted to be a basketball player, and although he still plays recreationally, he admits he didn’t get into music until after high school.

Now, he is currently working on his debut album.

“Basketball got me into hip-hop and it wasn’t until early college that I started doing it as a joke to send my friend joke rap songs and then one thing led to another. I was so much. late to get into music,” he says, adding that his father was a drummer in a rock band, so he was always around the industry.

“I wasn’t afraid to do anything. I would jump on stage anywhere and I thought I was going to steal the show even if I was terrible and I had this blind faith, which I’m very grateful for because it helped me make myself laugh. It got me through a lot,” he says.

After moving to Los Angeles, the “Sleepyhead” singer, who is engaged to Lovatohe realized the extent of the talent around him and began to worry that he was not up to par.

“I wasn’t a singer growing up so I had to teach myself how to sing just by doing it over the years and I’ve improved a lot but I’m still insecure about my voice and performing live. You always feel like, ‘Oh, I’m going to be a dwarf and everyone will know,'” he explains. “I was on stage at my sold-out show thinking to myself, ‘I wonder if everyone here is going, ‘Oh, this guy sucks!’

Related: Demi Lovato writes love note to fiance Jutes: ‘You never cease to amaze me’

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In July 2022, he quickly scored 100 days of sobriety with a post on X. He’s now hit the two-and-a-half-year mark, and while he says he “feels great,” his sobriety continues to influence how he deals with his own anxieties.

“It’s this internal dialogue. I’m sober now and I can’t really quiet that voice with things I used to use to quiet the voice, but I’m learning how to handle it properly,” he says. “Just taking the step to announce a headlining show without opening, I said, ‘Let’s see what I can do on my own,’ and it sold out in three weeks. I was like, “Oh, I need it.” to not listen to that voice in my head much more often'”.

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