Dear Annie: When is it time to end a long-distance relationship?

Dear Annie: I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. While it has been good for the most part, I think it might be time to call it quits. We video chat twice a week and text maybe twice a day, but it’s not enough anymore. I brought this up early in our relationship, but he said that was all the time he could give. I understand that he has a demanding job that requires his attention four days a week, but even on his days off, he rarely texts me outside of our video chats. It wouldn’t be a problem if our video chats lasted more than two hours, but they don’t, and I’m getting more and more frustrated.

I work too, but I would love for us to text more often or at least have a third video chat every once in a while. What frustrates me the most is that even though we’ve been together for a year and a half, we still haven’t met in person. I told him from the beginning that if this relationship was going to be real, we should get together within a year or consider breaking up. He agreed at first, but when I brought it up again last January and February, he got into a big fight and didn’t talk to me for a week. We made up and I promised not to talk about it again until she was ready to talk about it. I’ve kept my word, but it’s frustrating that we’re approaching two years together, and she still hasn’t initiated a conversation about getting together.

I feel like I’m spinning my wheels in this relationship. I don’t want to end things because I care deeply for her and wonder if I’m overdoing it. But lately, the thought of breaking up has crossed my mind more often. She tells me she loves me, and I believe her, but our relationship no longer makes me happy. I don’t want to continue dating someone I only see twice a week for an hour long video call, or who hasn’t made any plans to meet in person after almost two years.

When I have asked him what prevents him from meeting, he has never given me a clear answer. I am left questioning if I am being unreasonable or if my feelings are valid. — Hater of long distance relationships

Dear Distance Hater: Of course, you hate the long-distance nature of this relationship. Your feelings are completely justified. A relationship where you can’t meet each other in person is not fulfilling and you deserve more. It’s time to let it go and find someone who can truly be present in your life.

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” it’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].