Love your family enough to stop allowing their bad financial habits

What someone says is one thing, but behavior is language. It’s easy to cross the line with your loved ones from being protective to enabling bad habits, but when it comes to finances, the hardest part is stopping a pattern you don’t initially recognize. Financial expert Dave Ramsey knows that tough love can be the best medicine and advises you to stop enabling and start planning.

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Quick Take: The Ramsey enablement example

On a recent podcast episode of The Ramsey Show, a woman called for advice about her husband who had been out of work since 2011. He was a well-educated pharmacist, but had been unable to find work for the past 13 years. . While this might initially inspire sympathy, Ramsey had some key points.

• Her husband’s behavior tells her that he doesn’t want to work, not that he can’t get a job, as he could get an entry-level position just to help her make ends meet.

• She enabled him through financial support so he never felt pressured to get a job outside his field.

• Instead of enabling him through support, she needs to be honest with him about the loss of respect for his work ethic.

• Not wanting to pay him food is not enough reason to stay with him or at least be honest in your communication.

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Financial enablement vs. tough love

The desire to help those you love financially can lead you down a dangerous path: one of financial empowerment. Getting someone out of a bad place over and over again ensures that they don’t have a problem; you do, because if you’re always fixing something, the responsibility falls on you and the freedom is kept for them. This is especially true when you give without limits, bail out your loved ones repeatedly, or set no limits.

Ramsey has spoken at length about the importance of breaking this cycle and loving our families enough to stop enabling their bad financial habits. This type of enabling occurs when you continually provide money or support to someone without making them responsible for their own financial decisions.

Whether it’s constantly bailing out a sibling who’s bad with credit cards or covering rent for a kid who refuses to budget, financial empowerment can take a toll on you in the long run. It allows the recipient to avoid responsibility, perpetuates bad financial habits, and can strain long-term relationships.

Ramsey argues that true love involves helping family members become financially independent rather than bailing them out every time they fall on hard times. After all, financial freedom isn’t just about having enough money, it’s about having the discipline and wisdom to manage money well. By refusing to turn it on, you’re helping your loved ones build a future where they can stand on their own, make wise financial decisions, and find true peace with money.

How to break the cycle of financial empowerment

No one wants to see a family member suffer or struggle. In some cases, financial empowerment comes from your own upbringing and what you were taught about money. If money was used as a tool of control or reward in your family, you may have absorbed these habits and now reflect them in your relationships.

Ramsey says breaking the enablement cycle starts with difficult but necessary conversations. Here are some key strategies he recommends.

1. Set clear boundaries: Setting firm financial boundaries with your family members is crucial. This could mean saying “no” to loan applications, no longer co-signing loans, or cutting off financial support if misused. Although it may be difficult at first, boundaries are essential to fostering independence.

2. Provide tools, not handouts: Instead of giving money, provide tools and resources that can help your loved one become more financially savvy. Point them to resources like Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University,” help them create a budget, or encourage them to attend personal finance workshops.

3. Be honest about your boundaries: You have to be honest not only with your family but also with yourself. If helping someone financially is hurting your own financial situation, you need to recognize when enough is enough. This may mean cutting back on gifts, loans, or support that are hurting you or creating stress in your life.

4. Be ready for the push: Changing family dynamics can create tension. Some family members may be upset when you start setting limits, especially if they have come to rely on your help. Ramsey stresses that this discomfort is temporary and necessary for long-term growth.

5. Foster responsibility: If your loved one is struggling financially, the best thing you can do is guide them to take responsibility for their actions. This could involve helping them find a financial advisor, helping them plan how to pay off debt, or encouraging them to pick up extra work to supplement their income.

Take To GO final

The bottom line is that protecting and supporting the people you love is natural, but letting it progress to enable poor financial habits shouldn’t. Ramsey promotes his philosophy of tough love to cut it short, as the most loving thing you can do is guide your family to financial freedom, even when it’s tough. In the end, you’re not only helping your family manage their money better, you’re helping them invest in a better future.

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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Dave Ramsey: Love Your Family Enough to Stop Enabling Their Bad Financial Habits