You don’t pick up the phone

I was recently part of a conversation that explored how social media and the algorithm seem to be affecting us and in some ways taking us away from agency. Clients often talk about how powerless they feel about how social media has taken over their lives. In the last year, there is at least one client a day who talks about social media and devices in the session and how it has started to affect their focus, productivity, mood and sense of self. The common theme over the past seven years is that customers talk about the itch to reach for their phones even when there are no messages or notifications. All too often, we interrupt ourselves and end up getting distracted by our phones. Too often as adults we end up blaming technology and forget that we also play a key role, and with this measure we can also bring change.

The adult is beginning to recognize where we can recognize our role in the problem and then begin to make the change.

A study by Dr Maxi Heitmayer, a social psychologist and teaching fellow in LSE’s department of Psychological and Behavioral Sciences, presents some mind-boggling facts. Research reflected that a whopping 89% of smartphone interactions are user-initiated, with only 11% prompted by a phone alert. Dr Maxi says: “Everyone thinks their phone is distracting, but our research shows that users actually are. If you put your phone on silent and then proactively check it, no designer can fight it “. This idea of ​​self-interruptions is one I read a few years ago in the work of researcher and author Gloria Mark.

A great reminder that while we can blame notifications and emails, how and when we choose our phone is also part of the problem. I ask clients as an experiment to note how many times they picked up their phone in a day, or sometimes in the first hour after waking up; the numbers are shocking. The act of reaching for our phone even when there is no message or call to make has become so normal that it almost feels like a reflex where most of the time it feels unconscious. So becoming aware and being aware of how many times we pick up the phone is a good enough starting point for people to introspect and bring about change.

We’ve also tricked our minds into believing that watching short-form content, checking for notifications will calm us down, or provide our brains with rest and relaxation. In fact, overexposure to large chunks of information in short bursts does the exact opposite: it numbs us, makes it difficult to concentrate, and leads to what has been known as brain rot.

The way to deal with it is to learn and identify where we can make the change. The more we engage with the world, nature, activities and hobbies that go beyond devices is where we can break this pattern of addiction. Choosing to buy an alarm clock, pausing for a few minutes when the need to check the phone arises, an act of slowing our breathing and then choosing to turn off data when we have an option helps. There is a joy in getting lost, and remembering that helps fight the fear of getting lost

Maybe the solution starts with a simple step: learning when not to pick up the phone.