How do we practice compassionate communication?

I believe that compassion is the cornerstone of effective communication and is essential in your growth emotional intelligence. Compassion arises from tender acceptance centered in non-judgment and can also be thought of as a empathicconscious effort to relieve another’s suffering.

One of the keys to practicing compassionate communication is recognizing the emotions of others and seeing ourselves in another. This is the power of a special type of cell we have in our brains, which scientists call “mirror neurons.”

Source: Mental Health America / Pexels

Mirror neurons allow us to experience each other in our minds. Mirror networks in our brains are at play in our emotional understanding and communication with others. They pull when we see another in pain. They are central to our experience of empathy. These networks help build our social connection. Through our brain’s networks of mirror neurons, we see each other, ourselves, reflected in each other’s smiles, frowns, rolled eyes, in everything we do, we mirror each other.

In my work, I’ve identified five principles for compassionate communication that can help you bring those mirror neurons in your brain online:

1. Practice CAREFUL obedience: Oh boy, this is a challenge for all of us! Most of the time, as someone else is speaking, we prepare what we are going to say. Listenand don’t plan what you’re going to say. When you listen fully, you may be pleasantly surprised at how much more “in sync” you really are with others.
2. Open your mind: Be open to “trying out” new concepts and ideas. Hug her opening to thoughts and experiences that may challenge your usual way of doing things. Expanding your habits can really expand your thinking and increase your empathic mental power!
3. Practice focusing on yourself: This is not about being selfish…recognize that your experience of the world is personal to you, while others may have different experiences, thoughts, feelings, backgrounds or perspectives. When you speak, recognize that you are speaking only from your own perspective, experiences, and behaviors. Importantly, don’t speak for others or make assumptions about other people’s experiences. Try leading with phrases like “sense...” or “From my experience…” By acknowledging your perspectives as personal to you, you make room for others to speak and encourage connection. You might even learn something!
4. Be patient: Be patient when others respond and let them think about why. Allow someone to respond in their own time frame. It is crucial to be patient. No two brains are alike, and the speed at which emotional information is processed is unique to each person.
5. Practice the 24-hour rule: If I’m having a challenge with someone and it looks like we’re at an impasse, I practice the 24-hour rule. I give myself a good night’s sleep to allow time and space to give me clarity. The next time you and someone might hit a roadblock, give yourself 24 hours. Then go back and see if you can find ways to find peace or at least some common ground. Finally, recognize that sometimes you may not see eye to eye – and that’s okay! You can experience the differences peacefully with space and time.

I hope these principles and practices of compassionate communication will be helpful to you and your loved ones.

“Our task must be to liberate ourselves…widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and all of nature and its beauty..” – Albert Einstein